How Many Hours of Sports Can You Watch (Without Her Getting Angry)?

Late August presents a serious challenge to the relationship between men and women all over the world, as late summer presents a serious overlap of many of the world's major sports. Whether it be baseball, pre-season football, the start of Premier League soccer, professional golf, world class tennis, or just the latest rounds of NASCAR or ultimate fighting, there are more sports going on now than at any other time of the year, all combining to distract the serious male sports fan from allegedly paying enough attention to the women in their lives.

And then, to top the regular menu of late summer sports off, every four years you have the siren's call of the Olympics too!

So how can the male sports fan obtain the optimum balance between their sports intake and their relationship with the women who love them? Or phrased differently, how many hours of sports can you watch without her getting supremely pissed at you?

And let's be honest here - this issue isn't just limited to late August now, is it?

Fortunately, Geek Logik's Garth Sundem considers questions just like these on a regular basis! And for the male sports fan, he's reduced it all down to a mathematical formula, for which we've constructed the tool below. Want to find out the maximum amount of sports you can watch and sustain a healthy relationship? Just enter your personal data into the tool and we'll do the math for you!

Sports Fanship and Relationship Data
Input Data	Values
Hours spent (or will spend) with her today watching Sleepless in Seattle, strolling hand in hand, or similar
Generally, how volatile is she? (1-10 with 10 being "Vesuvius")
In the past week, how many hours have you spent watching sporting events?
For how many of these hours did she enjoy watching sports with you?
Importance of today's sporting event (1-10 with one being "first round Jai alai qualifiers" and 10 being "Super Bowl")
Your current standing in the relationship (1-10 with 10 being "at last night's candle-lit dinner, you gave her a diamond necklace" and one being "over last night's TV dinner, you gave her a Red Sox beer opener")

Optimum Sports Intake
Calculated Results	Values
Maximum Number of Hours Of Sports Intake

The default numbers in the tool above came from a radio interview Garth Sundem did with the CBC's Cameron Phillips, who provided them off air. Here's how Garth described the outcome:

These numbers say he's in decent standing in a relationship with an only slightly vindictive girlfriend, he hasn't spent the last week glued to the tube, and today's sporting event is mildly important (curling?).

According to the equation, Cameron can spend 4.48 hours watching sports today!

Garth offers the following insights for sports fans doing the math for themselves:

Equation Note: The only complex variable in this equation is your standing in the relationship — good standing allows more sports (obviously), but as your standing gets into the basement, you might as well watch sports 'cause you're already sleeping on the couch anyway.

Equation Note II: You may feel this is chauvinistic. If so, feel free to flip the genders or mix and match as you see fit.